;

Batid ko simula pa lang,
Sa giyera, talo ang hindi matapang,
ang mahina sa armas at espadahan.
Ngunit sa palagay ko’y higit na talo ang lumalaban ng walang layunin.

Nang matunton ko ang kalagitnaan, luminaw ang aking dahilan –
Gaya ng tubig sa dagat at ng ulap sa kalangitan.
Kasabay ng unti-unting pag-usbong ng takot sa aking isipan,
“Nalalapit na ang katapusan.”

Minsa’y hindi ko matanto, kung ano ba dapat ang basehan ko.
Dapat ko bang ibatay sa pagdanak ng dugo? – Isang mababaw na mandirigma kung gayon.

Isa ako- at ang takot ko’y ang wakas,
Kaya’t pagpapatuloy ang armas ko.
Akin nang kinalimutan kung sa laban ba’y ako ang magwawagi o matatalo.



Kung takot ang daan upang hindi mawakasan, patuloy akong dito’y makikisanib, at uulit-ulitin kong lumaban.

Patak

Pumantig ang pagtama ng tubig sa bubong,
ngunit sa pandinig ko’y para paring bulong.
Tila hindi nito mahihigitan ang pintig,
na umaalingawngaw sa aking dibdib.


Bakit sa tuwing uulan ay maaalala ko?

Na walang naglakas ng loob na lumusong sa baha kundi ang sarili.

Natangay lahat ng lilim kasama ng hangin.

Tuwing uulan, gaya ng mga bituing naglalaho, maging ikaw ay nawawala rin.


Hindi ko mapigilang mainggit sa ulang malayang humihikbi.
Subalit gaya ng dati,
Ipauubaya ko muna sa langit, ang pag-iyak na halos walang pasubali.

Shore

God did not promise an easy life. He said He’d fight for and with you no matter how unbeautiful life could be.

Just like the ocean, life has its own waves – own trials. But look at its beauty. At the shore, you will find rest, serenity, and victory. Love, trials do not aim to totally destroy you. They aim to bring you back to whom you truly belong.

May we always know where to go despite a long suffering.

It is time to let the waves direct you to the shore and a time to finally rest your heart in its home – Jesus.

When leaving becomes a chance to mend

“The thought of you walking past the door keeps me occupied in quite a demeanor. Those footsteps that deteriorates slowly as the distance between us continuously goes further and further inflicted a vigorously weakening vibe to me. The pain caused by such wounds can be life threathening, but I managed to stand on my feet after a massive beatdown.”

How indelible. Even though it was really an agonizing event, it helped me realize that I was able even in the midst of her absence. Her leaving was so loud, but descended after a while. The footsteps created noise until i heard no more. I blamed my insufficiency. It took a piece of me – a piece which i cannot figure out how to fill. The void was huge, but i had to accept that people do that. People leave when they run out of reasons to stay.

The reflex of missing something is undeniably present, it besieges me. Her goodbyes were so sharp that gave a clean cut on my heart, but thanks to that, I figured out that I am capable of healing. Although it takes time, it is a process after all.

I am learning to cease the havoc in me when someone leaves. Just as how the world continue, I had to.

It is done

2019 was almost just about tears and rejection, letting go people, and building solitude. I did not imagine the year to be the season of growing apart with those i pictured myself spending life with. I felt pain way too much that it came to a point where i can feel no more. We almost fell off of the cliff but i am delighted we did not.

We survived.

Grace, you made me proud. To those times when i thought you’d choose defeat over trying at least, to those sad yet fulfilling moments that i saw you finally sat down and stopped from chasing people, and to those hours you decided to kneel down and pray. I admire the bravery you showed through the days. You, waking up and being grateful still, even you slept with a great void asking not to give you a new day, was what made my heart smile.

Where were you when you needed yourself? Love, allow yourself to feel. To pause. To continue. That’s how we fight battles – through you. It’s time to give yourself more time. How thankful i am that we had a chance to talk. Let’s do this more often.

The start of your 2020 is already wonderful, let us rock this together!

I

I – a writer that is lured by the ocean’s footsteps. Flying butters got me good. The sun’s bloom releases fragrance in which my nose gets attracted to. Its ups brings hope for my new day, and its downs mends my severed soul.

Waves. I always fall in love with how calm, chaotic, and vicious they could be. Same goes to people. We have the same serenity, and uneasiness. I thought of everyone as an ocean – trying to resist the rage of the water. I am the wave that doesn’t wish to end at the shore. In the midst of it, will you sail with me?

You’re here, and about to witness how bleak and bright my words are. I created this dawn that could lead to others’ joy or despair. Go on in, you’ll know my heart. I speak to the billows. I let my thoughts be wafted by them,

and as my notions and concepts float in this sea of life, bear with me and let’s get drowned.